M overdosed on prescription medications last night. My son thinks it was an accident, but she has been suicidal in the past, so I’m not sure myself. I talked to her on Saturday and she sounded fine. I know that that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. M is bi-polar and has many problems, to put it mildly. I know that there are many millions of bi-polar people out in the world who lead perfectly normal lives, if they are on their medication, maybe even if they aren’t. They may even have joy in their lives. M is not one of those people. It has not been easy for her. She has not been stable. She is a troubled, unhappy, ill young woman with three young children. And I believe that her life has come apart at the seams. Unfortunately, her life coming apart at the seams also unravels the lives of her children and her husband.
I do not believe that she has ever intentionally hurt her children, but she has indeed hurt them very deeply on more than one occasion. Someday, I may get into the stories of those times, but this is not the time to share them.
My son found his wife last night, unconscious and not breathing. The nearest hospital is 45 minutes away. He administered CPR. When the ambulance arrived, they got her pulse back — on the way to the hospital. She has not breathed on her own since. This morning he was told that her blood pressure is dropping and that they have given her all of the medication that they can. It doesn’t look like she will make it. I cannot begin to express the depth of my sorrow over the probability of my grandchildren losing their mother. She loves them and they love her. This is so hard.