Really the clean ups began even before the funerals. You know, the emotional baggage you have to sort through when you lose someone close to you. For that matter, there is very often emotional baggage when anyone you know dies, even if you aren’t close to them. Sometimes there is as much if you had a bad relationship with someone on the perimeter of your life, like a coworker or former schoolmate. It takes a while to get through it all. The longer the person has been a part of your life, the more baggage there is likely to be.
The emotional baggage is not all bad or tear filled, but it does take time to process. So does the physical clean up. Today, I started again on M’s kitchen. I had cleaned out the refrigerator right after she died. I had to do it then because there was so much food brought to us that we had to put away.
Today, I started on the pantry. I’ve got the top food shelf cleaned up so far. The kitchen will take a while. M had an odd system. Most of the artwork the kids ever did is in there. There is barely room for pots and pans. The worst part of the kitchen was beyond her control and is out of mine. I can’t reach most of the shelves. I even have trouble with the lowest ones. My son is sick right now, but as soon as he’s well, I plan to have him take me shopping to get a step ladder. Now, you’re probably wondering why I need him to take me. Well, he lives on a military base. I don’t have a military I.D. since I am not a military dependant. I can’t shop on base or drive off of base and get back on. Well, in all honesty, I probably could drive off and get back on, with some explaining and maybe some phone calls, but I wouldn’t have the faintest idea of where to go to shop around here at this point. Sometimes, I really miss TX and the bluebonnets. Today, I miss both — and my sister.