Basically two days left of this year. I can’t say that I’ll be sorry to see it go. I lost my dear sister this year and my grandchildren lost their dear mother. It’s been more than a “difficult year”. It seems like the last 4 or 5 years have gotten progressively worse in some way, even though each year I’ve hoped, prayed and wished for the next year to be better than the one that just ended. I’m almost afraid to wish for it again. To voice the wish for a better year in 2011 than I had in 2010 seems to be daring God to see what else I can survive that I haven’t been through yet — or lately. I mean there has to be some reason for the continued challenges. I’m supposed to be learning something here, right? I’m hoping that God has seen that I am not only a strong woman, but that I now know I am a strong woman. I’ve learned this over the last several years. I believe this in the core of my being and I pray this was the lesson I was supposed to learn.
My momma used to tell me that “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger”. I believe that now more than ever. Living it, is a sure way to learn it inside and out. Even with all of the pain I’ve lived through over the last several years, I know that my life is not as hard as many. I know that I have not gone through more than others have gone through. I know that I am very blessed. I am grateful for all that I have and even for all I’ve been through. I would not be who I am without going through the trials I’ve been through.
Still, I wish that next year will be better than this year has been and better than the last several years have been. That we will suffer no deaths of loved ones — family, friends or even pets. That we will all be employed. That we will discover no horrible, hurtful secrets. That we will not feel the weight of someone’s life in our own hands. That we will be healthy for the whole year. That each person I love will be happy. I hope it is not too much to wish.