My sister died two years ago today. For some reason, the anniversary is bothering much more this year than it did last year. Maybe because I expected to be really torn up last year, so I faced it head on and this year it just kind of snuck up on me. I tried to just sleep through the day and not acknowledge it at all, but that didn’t work. So, when something doesn’t work for me, I try to do what I’ve done in the past that has worked. That means turning to face it head on.
Today that meant remembering what was going on for me that day. I was flying back to California with my son and grandchildren after burying their wife and mother a few days before. We were running through airports trying to catch connecting flights. We were upset and tired. We landed in LA and my cell phone rang with the news that my sister had died that morning and they’d been trying to reach me all day. This sound of anguish escaped me and I started to cry, I handed the phone to my son. My oldest granddaughter recently told me that my face was really red. I helped my son get the kids and luggage to the car in long-term parking and I had him drop me back at the airport for a flight back to Dallas. My phone started ringing with questions and offers of support. I called my friend Sandy. She and her husband helped me get back to Texas. Without them, I would not have been able to get home again. I can never repay their kindness in my time of grief and need. I had a couple of hours to wait for the flight. I called my two best friends and gave them the news. There was a gentleman sitting near me who heard what I was saying. He talked to me after I got off the phone. He told me that he’d had a heart attack a few years back and he had “seen the light”. He told me how welcoming it was. That it was full of love. He told me that my sister was OK. I did know that she was OK before talking to him, but he made me feel better. We didn’t talk much after that. We got on our flight. My husband picked me up. By the time I got back home, it was midnight or 1 a.m. something like that. I got up the next morning and drove down to the Houston area to my sister’s family and my momma for what would be our new surreal reality.
Another thing I wanted to do today is read a few things that I wrote for the blog shortly after Teresa died. If you would like to read them too, here are the links:
I feel like I’ve been babbling on and not really saying anything that anyone would want to read. If that’s the case and you’ve read this, I’m sorry. I just needed to babble a bit.