Rage? Fury? A Black Hole?

It’s been a hell of a week.  We’ve had a death in the family.  My step father died last Monday.  It was quite a shock and my mother has had a really rough time.  On top of that, his “family” is being a butt.  His sister-in-law says he called her some time ago and told her several things that he wanted them to have if something should happen to him — and they want “their” stuff — like today!  In case your mind didn’t go there, this is only seven days after his death.

Yesterday, momma decided that she really was not up to going through all of his belongings to give them what they wanted just yet.  Trying to do it yesterday, was excruciatingly painful for her.  For us to delay the meeting because of her grief and emotional distress, caused a problem for them.  The brother-in-law that I talked to was very insistent about the meeting going forth on the originally planned day.  He started talking all this crap about “trust” and “us not really knowing them and them not really knowing us”!  Mom and hubby were together for over 17 years and his family starts pulling this crap!

I remember saying to the brother-in-law that I was cooking and trying to take care of my mother — then I apparently went into the Black Hole of Fury and Rage — because momma said I also said some rather rude things.  I don’t remember saying anything tacky.  I don’t think I’ve ever been as angry as I was during that phone call.

We went to the property yesterday that they had wanted to meet at today.  We went there and emptied the refrigerator, stripped the sheets off the bed and turned off the electricity to the home.  While we were there, someone drove by the house, slowly, watching us.  Then a couple of Sheriff’s deputies showed up saying they’d gotten a call that there were trespassers at the house.  Momma and I each showed our I.D. to the deputies.  Mom’s I.D. had the address of the home we were at. We asked who called in the complaint.  They confirmed that it was the “family”.  The deputies asked us what was going on with the complaint.  We told them about the death and the family’s actions.  They told momma that it’s her house, she can take whatever she wants and they left.  We were furious, but we finished up what we needed to do that moment and we left too.

Fortunately, thanks to friends, we have the phone numbers of several lawyers that it looks like we will indeed be calling tomorrow.

Why does death have to bring out greed in people?  It’s such a shame.

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4 Responses to Rage? Fury? A Black Hole?

  1. Mtn kitten says:

    I am sooooo sorry for your mother’s loss. To be married for seventeen years is historical these days – something to be proud of and something to be highly respected. I hope his family will take a giant step back and consider how they would feel if during their time of loss they were being painfully attacked, not supported and harassed into doing things they were not ready for. Seventeen years of building a life together, sharing and being intertwined . . . it will take more than seven days for your momma to come to grips with what has happened that she had no say-so in or control over. I would think that anyone who truly loved your step-father would also take more than seven days to mourn the loss of a loved PERSON instead of thinking of the person’s STUFF. Love tons – Cat

  2. First off, condolences, my friend. Prayers of comfort to your mama. Working at a law firm, I see this OFTEN. No sooner than the probate papers are filed the court (and usually a day or 2 of death), you have “the family” of one side or another calling to “collect the things/money/furniture/weapons” that the deceased “always said they wanted them to have.” And yes, money & material things bring out the ugliest in folks. Sorry your mom has to go through this. Strength to both of you.

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